Just Another Split Day in Croatia

Good morning Lovers.  I should absolutely be doing something that is producing income, but my passion for writing far exceeds my passion for taxes, so I’m taking a moment to fulfill my soul before being a responsible human being (one goal for the year: combine those two things).  The bonus for all of you Lovers of Random is you get a new post and an update on the adventure.

We’ve dubbed a little saying here – “Just another shit day in Croatia”.  Even sitting in the workspace today, I get to stare out at the beach.  So far, there really hasn’t been any cause for a bad day in this place.  Even the Dalmatian lifestyle is laid back and super easy.  I know this is the first stop and there is a long way to go, but Lovers, I could get used to this.


Over the past few days the Hartthrobs have been getting oriented.  With the program, with Split, and with each other.  Its an amazing phenomenon to watch the bonds that we are building.  From physical to emotional ailments, we are already coming together to get each other through.  Nicknames seems to be the name of the game, which I love – The Brit is now Coco (or Starbucks Lightning if you nasty), Brazil is Grizzly, and one of our hosts has been dubbed Tomato.  I’ve even got a couple new ones myself – Noir and Peens (cause Duffs can’t be bothered with the vowel at the end of Pino).

On Friday we all got up and presented ourselves PechaKucha style and then wandered Old Town looking for a spot to accommodate the masses. Rolling 30 deep ain’t always easy.  After the WORST pasta I’ve ever had in my life, we settled into Sanctuary, the local craft cocktail spot and the proud owners of my Bulliet rye.  Not feeling it, Kiwi and I load up the scooter to head home.  As we’re rounding the harbor, I see lights – colorful, flashy lights – and I make my flatmate stop… just for one.  This open air dance club is empty except for Kiwi, me, a guy dancing with a balloon and some other random patrons not worth mentioning.  Not to be upstaged by Balloon guy, I get out on the mostly empty dance floor and satiate my need to move my hips.  Unbeknownst to me, Kiwi takes a video and posts it to the group.  Don’t blink Lovers, because the next thing you know, Hartthrobs have Taken. Over.  Impromptu dance party, Hartthrobs style.  I need a new word for fun because it doesn’t even come close to describing this evening.  I get home just in time for some FT with the #PIC after his race and gain a little respect with his moto crew by rallying and breaking out the Jameo to have a shot with them.  Can’t wait to meet these folks.

Saturday was orientation, and we bond over our mutual hangovers.  After having some knowledge dropped on us and taking some epic group pics, we head to the beach on the first cloudy day that we’ve seen, but that just means we get to have a dance party in the rain.  Me and the boys push the scooter to the limit with four riders on our way to get fresh for the evening.  A few of us are not feeling the after party, so after some wandering around Old Town, we grab a bite at Bokeria and Uber home (no detours this time).

It is SUNDAY FUNDAY and we’ve done it right and gotten a couple of boats to bop around a few of the THOUSANDS of islands around here.  We visit private beaches, show off our diving skills, swim in caves and make “I’ll Baywatch your ass” a thing.  We stop at one island to have lunch, and there is a floating slide out in the bay.  Skeen and I are game to hit it, and K-Dog is going to catch it on the drone (video incoming, hold for that).  My first time down, the slide catches one of the ties on my bikini and that’s it for my bottoms #level2.5fun.  Swimming to the shore is an adventure of it’s own, and I’m very grateful for my Lulu shorts.  We shoot over to an island that is majorly owned by one family (for over 400 years now) before riding over to Hvar to wrap up the tour.  We hit a beach bar that I can only describe as Fratastic, drink frozen concoctions and I teach the boys how to stripper squat before heading back to Split.  Oh, and I found a guy in a Baywatch shirt. How fitting…. (see what I did there?)


Today’s productivity has been ravaged by technology fails: Uber went down, so Skeen and I had to improvise a workout, my love/hate with Intuit today has been strong on the hate side (seriously, how many software updates do I need?), but I worked off the stress with a swim in the sea and it would appear I am now up and running.  As I settle in with my paprika chips, it’s time for me to sign off my Lovers.  Productive Peens needs to generate some income to fund this fabulous adventure.  Until next time….

Randomly yours,


 Need more pics in your life?  Check out the Random Remote album


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